four o'clock
by suicidebycyanide
Summary: When Darcy, Holby's student nurse runs out of cubicle seven after taking their observations, it leaves the team trying to solve a mystery but Duffy thinks she's solved it when she spots bruises on the girls arms. As one victim to another, can Duffy make Darcy open up about the real reason why she left cubicle seven in a hurry? - —Duffy/OC, rape scenes.
1. CHAPTER I

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**four o'clock**  
_you give me that feeling_

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_last weekend you stayed at home  
alone and lonely  
couldn't find yo man  
he was chillin with his homies_

Darcy shook her hips to the beat of the music as she finished applying the final touches to her makeup. Today was her first day at Holby General and although she was a little nervous, she couldn't wait to get stuck in. She knew the hands on experience was going to help more than the theory of nursing.

Eventually switching off the radio as the song came to an end, Darcy took one look at her reflection and grabbed her handbag and jacket of the kitchen table. Pulling the door closed as she left, she put on her jacket, took a deep breath and left the house.

Locking the door behind her she placed the keys in her pocket and began to make the short journey to work. Darcy always knew it was a risk to come back to Holby, the place she grew up and where her parents separated but the opportunity was too great to miss. She couldn't turn down the opportunity to work at one of the leading hospitals in Bristol could she? All because of something that happened when she was younger.

The weather was slightly cold for Darcy's liking but she presumed it was because she was so used to living down South where its summers were a lot milder than in the North. As much as her life was in the South, on the border near Brighton, she moved to Holby for college with a dead-beat junkie for a boyfriend during her first year. The freedom of being away from her parents was awesome, no rules, nothing.

Around twenty minutes later she found herself outside of Holby General Accident and Emergency Department. The place was chaotic but what did she expect for the only hospital in a two mile radius? She glanced around, took a deep breath and made her way towards the entrance.

Hitting reception she found the place to be fairly busy, the desk streaming with people waiting to be booked in. Darcy sighed as she joined the queue hoping she'd be seen soon otherwise she'd be considered late for her first day. As she was queuing she reached inside of her jacket pocket and took out a letter, reading the name she was supposed to introduce herself too.

She glanced around looking for a Charlie Fairhead but to no avail. She couldn't imagine what he'd look like for starters. Tall, short, old, young, fat, thin? All sorts of images flashed through Darcy's mind and she found herself worrying again, what if she couldn't hack life as a nurse? What if it was going to be a disaster.

Eventually, god knows how long after arriving at the department, Darcy was first in line at the reception desk.

"Hi I'm here to see Mr Fairhead, I'm one of the student nurses who was due to start today," the lady behind the desk told her she'd get whoever was available and to take a seat in the waiting area. Darcy nodded her head, turned on her heels and glanced around the waiting room.

Finding a seat in between two guys, both of whom seemed to be bleeding heavily, Darcy found herself getting quite queasy. She swallowed, looking at photographs during college wasn't too bad, seeing wounds in the flesh was awful.

Duffy received the message from Susie the receptionist about the student nurse arriving and sighed deeply. She'd been left in charge of running the department after Charlie's ill health and everything was a right nightmare, especially the bed situation that wasn't improving.

Standing in reception Duffy's eyes glanced over the patients before they fell upon a shy, timid girl in the middle of two burly lads. She smiled softly sensing the girl was the student nurse and stepped towards her, "you must be our student nurse?"

Darcy's eyes shot up from the floor and fell upon the woman in front of her. With a smile Darcy nodded, stood up and extended her hand, "I'm Darcy, it's nice to meet you though I was expecting to see a Mr Charlie Fairhead?"

Duffy shook the girl's hand, "I'm Duffy, I'm the sister of Accident and Emergency. I'm afraid Charlie's unwell at the minute so I'm in charge."

"It's nice to meet you Duffy," there was nothing but silence for a moment before Duffy asked Susie for a locker key. As she handed it to Darcy she ushered her to follow her to the staff room. In the staff room Darcy found her locker, put her jacket inside and turned to Duffy.

"How are you feeling?" The question lingered before Darcy decided to answer truthfully, "I'm not going to lie I'm nervous. This is my first placement and my first time working in A&amp;E. I'm presuming its always this—"

"Hectic? Yes afraid so," the more conversation that was exchanged between Darcy and Duffy the less nervous she felt. She hoped it wasn't false confidence she was feeling, she really wanted this placement to mean something, she wanted this placement to start her journey to become a nurse. A good nurse.

"Are you ready?"

"Probably as ready as I'll ever be," she smiled slightly and followed Duffy out of the staff room doors. She wondered if she was doing the right thing but knew it was too late to back out now, she had to follow it through to the end regardless whether it felt wrong or not.

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**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	2. CHAPTER II

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**CHAPTER TWO**  
_you found out I've got a crush_

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As Darcy got into the department itself, she was introduced by Duffy to the other members of staff. There were far too many people to try and remember though she did grasp a few names, an Adam, a Holly and a Chloe. She didn't know who was who though.

"Do you think you'll be able to do cubicle five's observations?"

Darcy nodded her head at the woman who asked the question and took the thermometer from her grasp. With a deep breath she looked around for cubicle number five, found it, walked towards it and opened the curtain.

"Hello, I'm just here to do your observations."

The patient Tim who'd fallen off a ladder and through the ceiling of a house enjoyed having some company. He was an older man in his mid-forties who'd spent the last twenty years alone after the premature death of his wife Louise.

Darcy stuck the thermometer into his ear and took his temperature which came back as normal. Checking his pulse she counted on her wrist watch and bit her lower lip as the reading was slightly on the low side. Jotting it down on the clip board she placed it back on the bed and told Tim she wouldn't be a moment.

Leaving the cubicle she glanced around trying to find the female doctor from earlier, the one who told her to take Tim's observations but couldn't find her. Taking a deep breath she knew she had to do something, she couldn't leave him with a weak pulse and walked up to somebody.

"Excuse me?"

Chloe turned around, her eyes looking the student up and down before smiling. She remembered it well, the nerves before qualifying, "yes?"

Darcy didn't know what to say, what if there was nothing wrong with Tim's pulse and she'd just made a mistake. Then on the other hand if it wasn't a mistake she was going to be fired from her job before she'd even qualified.

"Well I don't know if I'm over reacting but," she bit the corner of her lower lip nervously, "I was asked to take Tim's observations in cubicle five and his temperature's fine but when I've gone to take his pulse, it's a little slow only forty beats per minute."

"Okay, do you know the doctor who asked you to take his obs?"

"That's the problem," she shook her head, "all I know is that she's female, quite young looking."

"Doctor Miles, Holly?"

"Could be," she shrugged her shoulders and followed Chloe as she walked towards cubicle five. As she walked in she watched as Chloe took hold of Tim's wrist and began to measure his pulse. When a minute was up, she glanced in Darcy's direction and nodded; "you were right it is a bit on the slow side, I'll go and find Holly okay?"

"Okay thanks," Darcy whispered as she was once again alone with Tim. Tim seemed to sense something was wrong, it wasn't every day two beautiful nurses came to see him in his cubicle. No more than five minutes had passed before Chloe returned with the young doctor from earlier. Darcy knew that the doctor was Holly.

Holly too took Tim's pulse before nodding her head and agreeing with the girls diagnosis, his pulse was slow and quite weak, "good work girls. I want Tim here hooked on an ECG to see why his pulse is slow and under ten minute observations."

Both girls nodded their heads and watched as Holly left the cubicle.

"You ever hooked somebody up on an ECG before?" Chloe asked as she pulled out the machine from the corner.

"Kind of," Darcy began. They'd placed an ECG on a dummy before but it wasn't the same, yes they had the skills but to transfer them from a plastic doll to a living person was the greatest task of all. What if it all went wrong and she was made to look a fool in front of the nurse?

"Do you want to do this one on your own?"

Darcy began to laugh, "I'll give it a go but you might have to help me if I do it wrong."

"You should have more confidence in your abilities, you're doing fine up until now."

With the ECG hooked up successfully, Darcy did begin to relax. She wasn't so worried anymore about things going wrong, she enjoyed been out here in the work place, doing what she did best. Being a good person and putting other people first.

Chloe left her to do some stitching in another cubicle promising to show Darcy what to do if it decided to get quieter later. Darcy doubted it would ever get quiet in an emergency department, there was always someone complaining of something.

"Your new here aren't you?"

Darcy listened to Tim's question and nodded her head although her main focus was on the ECG results. It seemed abnormal and she decided, just to be on the safe side, to take his pulse once again. Half expecting to get another weak reading she was surprised to find his pulse was now fast.

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen, twenty in three weeks. Why you ask?"

"Just making conversation," she smiled brightly and excused herself as she left the cubicle. Finding Holly staring absent-minded at the patient board, she touched her arm causing Holly to jump out of her skin and curse Darcy lightly.

"Sorry if I made you jump."

"It's okay, what seems to be the problem?"

Darcy bit the corner of her mouth again as she tried to explain what she thought, "I'm looking at Mr Matthew's ECG and its abnormal, least that's what it seems. Obviously I'm not a doctor but I decided to re-check his pulse and its fast this time, hundred and ten per minute. I'm looking at the ECG and I think he might be suffering from ventricular fibrillation but I don't know. I am only a student, do you mind taking a look for me? I know you're busy and all but — I think its serious."

"Sure," for the second time in twenty minutes Holly walked back to cubicle five. Explaining to Tim that there seemed to be a problem with his heart that they didn't understand, she studied the ECG's in silence for a couple of minutes before redoing his pulse.

With a small smile she turned to Darcy, "your diagnosis seems to be correct, well done."

Darcy couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. First hour done as a student nurse and she was already scoring brownie points of the doctors for making educated guesses. Darcy always knew that extra studying would come in handy someday and today it was paying off in her first placement.

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	3. CHAPTER III

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**CHAPTER THREE  
**_give it to me baby, give it to me_

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At the end of her shift Darcy was invited by the others for a drink in the pub. She was leaning against her locker when she got asked by Chloe, if she wanted a quiet drink in the pub just to wind down from her shift. She didn't have a reason to say no, she wasn't needed at home until later.

With a nod of the head, she thought having a drink with the team would break the ice.

"Alright yeah I'll have a drink with you," she smiled softly at Chloe. Despite Chloe been everything Darcy wasn't, she knew she was going to get on well with the girl. They had similar personality traits even if Chloe was louder and the gift of the gab.

Duffy came into the staff room and her eyes fell upon Darcy. A small smile appeared on her lips. She'd heard a lot about Darcy from both Chloe and Holly, both of them been impressed that she was able to diagnose the patient with VF.

"I believe you've done great for your first day, well done."

Darcy shrugged it off, "it was nothing honest."

Holly piped up, "give over it was a breakthrough, I still don't know how you spotted it."

Darcy smiled. When she was a child she always read her father's medical journals. It became a comfort much later in her teenage years when her father passed away that he taught her everything she needed to know. She knew from a young age however that medicine wasn't for her, she didn't want to study it.

"My father used to be a doctor before he passed away, he used to let me read his journals. Like I said, it was a lucky guess."

Zipping up her coat she followed Duffy, Chloe and Holly out of the department. As they made their way across the road where the pub was located, they engaged in small conversation before Darcy took her mobile phone out of her pocket and sent a text to her boyfriend telling him she wouldn't be home until late.

She knew he'd have something to say but she'd given up caring, she'd given up caring ages ago. Reaching the pub she found a few more colleagues outside but she couldn't recognise many of them, only the odd one been Collette one of the nurses.

Reaching the bar she gained the attention of the bar man and ordered herself a glass of rose. One of the guys at the bar, Darcy could only presume he was a doctor because of the cockiness that filtered of him replied with a smile, "are you even old enough to drink?"

"Very funny I'm nineteen," she handed the man a five pound note, "I'm Darcy, student nurse."

"Patrick Spiller," their hands extended and they shook hands before the man returned with her change. Shoving the change in her pocket, she picked up the glass and walked towards the table where Duffy was sat, staring in the bottom of her glass.

Placing the glass of wine on the table she sat down beside her, "everything okay?"

"Everything's fine I'm just tired," Darcy nodded and there was nothing but silence between the two. Other people began to sit around the table and Darcy was eventually introduced to them. There was Patrick, Max, Colette and Barney as well as the three she'd spent the day working with.

Before long with the conversation flowing, Darcy found herself on her third glass of wine, the rose beginning to affect her. She knew it was a bad idea drinking on an empty stomach but it was easily done, she'd forgotten how many times she'd gone up and ordered a glass.

As the night progressed one by one the numbers were getting smaller. Duffy was the first to leave followed by Colette until soon there was only Holly, Patrick and Darcy. Sensing something between Holly and Patrick, Darcy finished her glass and excused herself.

"I better make a move," she put on her jacket, "my boyfriend will be wondering where I am."

Leaving the pub, Darcy began to make the journey home. It was roughly twenty minutes or so from Holby General to her flat and she enjoyed the walk home, it gave her time to reflect on the days events, the moments she felt she could improve on if she was to do it again.

It was dark outside but not too dark, the street lights just about to turn on so illuminating everything amber. She reached the corner of one of the streets she walked down when she sensed somebody walking behind her. Immediately feeling terrified, her heart beating faster, Darcy told herself there could be a reasonable explanation.

She turned into the street when someone grabbed her, placing their hand over her mouth ensuring she wouldn't scream.

He dragged her into a wooded area and threw her down on the ground, "make another sound and I'll kill you!"

The ground was dry but hard and Darcy could feel rocks digging into her back. There were nettles around the pair of them and Darcy knew what was going to happen, she didn't need to be intelligent to know she was either going to be raped or killed.

Instinctively she kicked him in the balls and scrambled to her feet. She didn't get very far when a hand on her arm pulled her back. Staring up at the man, she made sure she noted every little detail about him. Old man, in his forties, clean shaven, bright blue eyes.

A fist collided with her cheek and she fell down to the floor. Forcing her legs apart he whispered down her ear as he fumbled with his belt, "lie still sweetheart and let me take what I deserve. Girls like you are all the same, all a bunch of sluts."

Darcy closed her eyes as the worst pain tore through her stomach yet she still didn't cry. If she was to cry he'd kill her, just like he said he would.

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	4. CHAPTER IV

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**CHAPTER FOUR**  
_loving, grabbin' your hips_

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He finished himself of inside of her and as he scrambled to his feet, fastening his belt he warned her not to say a word; "I know you're a student nurse at Holby General. _Darcy. _Mention this to anyone and you're going to wish you were dead."

She didn't reply and waited for his footsteps to disappear. It was only when she was certain she was alone, she slowly sat up. Darcy was covered in mud and leaves and she began to break down and cry as she searched around for her underwear in the bushes.

Putting them back on, she looked down at herself and wondered what a state she looked. Knowing she had to go home and shower, she tip-toed out of the bushes and began to run away from the scene. She ran all the way home, unlocked her door and slammed it shut behind her, relieved to find herself home alone.

Making sure the door was double locked behind her, she ran up the stairs and into the bathroom. Slamming the door closed and making sure it was locked, she began to fill the bath with hot water and took one look at her reflection in the mirror.

She was a mess. Darcy's hair had twigs and leaves in it. Her uniform was dirty and torn. Her legs were full of bruises as were her wrists and the top of her arms. There was a purple bruise beginning to form on her cheek and a small trickle of blood ran down her legs.

She tore off her uniform as quickly as possible and submerged herself in the water. She didn't care how hot it was, she just needed to get him off her skin. The water began to burn but she didn't care, she had to remove his scent from her body.

Darcy grabbed the nearest sponge, grabbed the soap and began to scrub at her skin until it started to bleed. It didn't matter how much she scrubbed, she could still feel him, the way he forced her legs open, the smell of his breath as he whispered in her ear.

She began to cry hysterically in the bath full of water wondering why it happened to her, why her and why today?

Darcy stayed awake all night, staring at the ceiling thinking of _that_ tramp and replaying the rape over and over again. Jim her boyfriend was snoring softly beside her and she was grateful he was flat out, he'd only question why she was awake and she couldn't tell him the truth could she? He'd only ever view her as damaged goods.

Getting out of bed, she caught sight of the clock and sighed realising it was only four minutes past four. Walking out of the bedroom she went to the kitchen, switched on the kettle and decided to make herself a cup of tea wondering what the morning would bring.

A few hours later Darcy decided to get ready for work. Putting on a clean uniform, she stared at her reflection in the mirror at the bruises on her body and was relieved to find they covered up easily. Biting her lower lip hard as she applied makeup, her heart began to feel fast and she felt sick because she knew she'd be walking past that place where her rape took place.

She chewed her lower lip hard as she walked past the bushes, the feeling of nausea washing over her. She couldn't hold the sick in any longer and she leant over into the bushes and emptied the contents of her stomach.

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she continued on her way to the hospital hoping she could put this behind her. She knew exactly who the man was who attacked her but she couldn't say anything, she couldn't be dragged through all that again. Not now and not ever.

Reaching the hospital she walked into the toilets, splashing cold water on her face. She took a deep breath and emerged from the bathroom, ready to face the challenges of today. She didn't think one of the challenges of today was to face her rapist in one of the department's cubicles.

She'd been on shift for around fifty minutes when Charlie asked her how she was settling in. She said she was doing fine, settling in okay and she was learning a lot from both Chloe and Duffy. He said about Duffy been one of the best and Darcy smiled.

"Darcy do you mind taking Ms Dawson's observations in cubicle seven?" Patrick asked and she shook her head, grabbed a thermometer and disappeared into cubicle seven. As she pulled open the curtain she found her eyes falling upon someone she didn't want to ever see in her life.

Her rapist, Mr Dawson stood beside his wife Mrs Dawson, the woman having been admitted with stomach cramps. Darcy swallowed hard as his eyes bored into her, she now knew how he knew she was a student nurse.

"I'm just here to take your observations," she smiled despite the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, the sudden onset of nausea. She stuck the thermometer in her ear, noted her temperature and took her pulse all of which were normal.

As she went to leave the cubicle he placed his hand on her arm. She swallowed, "please get your hands off me."

"Is everything okay with my wife only we've been here several hours now," she ignored his question and left the cubicle in a hurry, leaving the thermometer on the side by the nurses station. Mr Dawson followed her and when she went into the downstairs toilets, followed her inside.

Darcy threw up in the toilet for the second time that morning and she knew it was becoming increasingly harder to pretend nothing had happened. As she flushed the chain to leave the cubicle, she recoiled in horror as she saw him stood by the door with a smile on his face.

"Hello Darcy," he licked his lips, "fancy meeting you here."

"You absolute bastard!" She responded and backed into the toilet.

He followed her and she knew it was going to happen, she was going to be raped again. This time she knew she couldn't let him get away with it, he'd taken advantage of her once, she couldn't allow him to do it again. He kicked the door closed behind him and grabbed her, placing his hands on her throat and kissing her roughly.

She kicked him between the legs and he stumbled before slapping her hard across the face. She slapped him back and he grabbed a fistful of her hair and slammed her head into the wall. As she slowly lost consciousness, he began to force the young girls legs apart.

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**jottings / **if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	5. CHAPTER V

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**CHAPTER FIVE**  
_you'll see the way it used to be_

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"Has anyone seen Darcy?" Colette asked and Charlie answered that he'd last seen her about twenty minutes ago when he'd asked her to take Ms Dawson's observations in cubicle seven but where she'd gone from there he didn't know.

Darcy slowly began to come round in the toilet cubicle. Her body was in an awkward place and she touched the side of her head, feeling a trail of blood seep through her fingers. She heard the door to the toilets open and she pulled herself up to her feet.

Flushing the chain she left the cubicle to find herself meeting Duffy. Duffy took one look at Darcy and noticed the blood trickling down the side of her face. She touched Darcy's head gently and asked, "what happened?"

"I fell over," she lied and Duffy looked at her more closely. There were things she hadn't noticed earlier when Darcy had started her shift, the bruise that was on her cheek, the bruises up and down her arms. There was a sick feeling in the pit of Duffy's stomach, there was something Darcy was hiding, she knew when people were hiding things. She's hidden a few secrets of her own from others, her own rape was one of them.

"It'll need a couple of stitches in that," she began and Darcy nodded her head. She sniffed and wiped away the tears that were starting to roll down her cheeks. She ran a hand through her hair and decided to leave the toilets though Duffy's hand on her arm stopped her.

"Is everything okay? I mean, if something isn't the matter you can talk to me you know?"

"Yeah I know," she smiled softly, "thanks. Where should I go to get this stitched? Should I go and see triage?"

Duffy knew the youngster wasn't going to confine in her about whatever had happened so removed her hand from Darcy's arm. She told Darcy to go and find a free cubicle and she'd get one of the nurses to do the stitching. When she left Duffy sighed.

Darcy walked back into the department and Colette mentioned, "there you are! Where you've been?" It was only then that she caught sight of the bruise on her cheek and the blood trickling down her head from the wound at the side of her head.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Darcy once again nodded and told Colette exactly what she told Duffy, she fell and she was fine. Colette took her to an empty cubicle and she sat on the bed, brought her knees to her chest and hugged them tightly.

"Did something happen to you?"

Darcy shook her head a little too violently, "no! No nothing like that happened. I tripped and I fell and hit my head off the wall. I briefly knocked myself out for about two, three minutes. I'm a dope sometimes, honest! Can we just sort this out so I can go back out there?"

Colette gently began to wipe away the blood at the side of Darcy's face with an antiseptic wipe warning her that it may sting. She didn't even flinch and Colette noticed the bruises that covered Darcy's wrists. Like Duffy she too had a feeling something bad had happened to the young girl, something she was afraid of telling.

After cleaning the wound and putting in three disposable stitches, Darcy was grateful to get back to work although she couldn't help but catch everyone looking at her suspiciously. When Patrick asked her to take Ms Dawson's observations again, she nodded and once again grabbed a thermometer.

As she entered the cubicle she noticed Ms Dawson was asleep and Mr Dawson made eye contact with her. Moving to get round him, he touched her arm and whispered into her ear, "we need another meeting."

Darcy dropped the thermometer and it hit the ground. Duffy opened the curtain and upon seeing Mr Dawson and Darcy asked, "is everything okay in here?"

Darcy couldn't quite make eye contact with Duffy as she answered that she was fine, she was just been clumsy. Satisfied that everything was okay, Duffy closed the curtain around the cubicle and walked off, once again leaving them alone.

"Have you told anyone?"

"Don't be stupid," she replied and took Ms Dawson's temperature.

"You were stupid last time."

Darcy shot him a look, "that wasn't my fault it was my parents. Anyway I don't know why you're so intent on destroying my life."

"You owe me," he stepped towards her and grabbed her by the throat. She struggled but knew it was pointless, it would only hurt more. She knocked the vase of the bedside table which alerted Duffy again to the cubicle. This time as she opened the cubicle, she saw the red marks around Darcy's neck but the youngster had tried to cover them up by placing her hand over her throat, stroking it lightly.

"Is everything okay in here?"

Darcy swallowed as Mr Dawson replied that everything was fine. She made eye contact with Darcy hoping she'd say something different.

"Darcy?"

She took one look at Mr Dawson and Duffy and nodded her head. She lied again and said everything was fine. Duffy sighed but once again left them alone. A couple of minutes later Darcy came out of the cubicle and ran towards the toilets.

As she ran past Charlie he asked Duffy, "is she okay?"

Duffy shrugged her shoulders, "I really don't know."

She followed Darcy into the toilets and saw that all the stalls were empty apart from one and heard someone empty the contents of their stomach. Taking a deep breath Duffy asked, "Darcy is that you?"

The person in the stall didn't reply only threw up again, "Darcy has something happened to you?"

There was a bit of movement from inside the stall, the chain flushed and the lock slid across. Slowly the door began to open.

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**jottings **/ if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	6. CHAPTER VI

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**CHAPTER SIX**  
_give me the tightest hold_

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Darcy opened the door fully and stepped out. There was an atmosphere between her and Duffy but it wasn't awkward, just silent Duffy waiting for Darcy to open up to her. There was something troubling her, she could sense sacredness a mile off.

"This morning those bruises, somebody did that to you didn't they?"

Darcy shook her head as she approached the sinks and turned on the hot water, "please will you just drop it?"

"You can't let them get away with this."

"They already have," she placed her hands underneath the hot tap, scrubbing them with soap, "they've gotten away with it for years. I don't need to start dragging up the past so please Duffy, can we just leave it?"

She turned off the tap and walked towards the hand dryer. Drying her hands she placed one hand on the door handle when she heard Duffy say,

"You were raped." There was another silence between the two as the door slammed shut. Duffy knew instantly, the moment she saw the bruises and the red marks along her neck, she'd been raped. Her own marks from her own attack were similar that's how she'd put two and two together.

Darcy slowly began to turn around and upon making eye contact nodded her head, "how did you know?"

"I've been raped too," came Duffy's reply. Darcy sighed. She was only nineteen and today was her second day of the job she'd grown to love. She didn't need the past to come back to haunt her, to drag everything up and replace everything good she had in life. She also knew if she didn't say anything all it would do would be to eat away at her heart and she'd hate herself for the rest of her life, she would hate letting him control her.

She sat on the edge of the sink, "what do you want me to say, tell you everything? Because I'm not, I can't."

"Is that what he said? That you can't tell anyone."

She sighed deeply, swinging her legs backwards and forwards. Why did this have to be harder than she imagined, why couldn't it just be easy. Why couldn't she just come out and say Mr Edward Dawson was the man who raped her five years ago and _yesterday_.

"If you let him get away with it, he might do this to someone else."

"Don't bother guilt tripping me," she replied and shot a look at Duffy, "honestly please don't."

"I'm not. I'm only trying to help," Duffy replied. When she was attacked, she never went to the police because she wanted to forget it, pretend it never happened. It wasn't easy because she was convinced she saw him sometimes but eventually she learnt to move forward with her life. She'd hate to see Darcy struggling to put this behind her to move on and become stronger.

"Just don't help okay, this won't make it go away."

She jumped off the sinks and left the bathroom. Returning to the department she kept out of Duffy's way for the rest of the day and pretended to everybody else she was fine. The majority of people asked how she got injured and she had to keep telling _that_ story, the one where she said she fell. The lie itself was a distraction for what really happened in the cubicle, she didn't need to be reminded she was raped twice in two days.

It was approaching the end of her shift and she was alone near the staff room when she was corned by Edward. He grabbed her by the throat again and forced his tongue into her mouth. One of his hands cupped her breast harshly and he warned, "remember what I said if you told anyone."

"What's stopping you? Who says I _haven't_ told someone?"

The sound of slapped flesh filled the silence, "I mean it Darcy, you breath a word of this to anybody and I'll slice your throat and bury you on the motorway somewhere between here and London. Do I make myself clear?"

"Does your wife know you go for school girls?" Darcy replied back with a smirk. She knew she was pushing her luck but she didn't care, he was going to kill her anyway so she might as well get it over and done with.

Charlie was walking in the direction of the staff room when he saw two silhouettes near the staff room. The closer he approached, one of the figures jumped back and began to walk away, edging past Charlie on his way out. Finding Darcy rubbing her throat, Charlie looked at her suspiciously before asking;

"Is everything okay?"

"Fine why do you ask?"

"Who he?"

Darcy walked into the staff room and walked to her locker before answering, "oh him, he's Mr Dawson Ms Dawson's husband. He was just asking about his wife."

Charlie nodded his head but didn't verbally reply. He sensed that Darcy was hiding something, she'd been acting suspiciously all day. As the girl opened her locker and took out her jacket, she turned to Charlie and said gently, "can you pass a message on to Duffy for me? If she wants to talk she can meet me in the pub in say twenty minutes?"

She left the staff room leaving Charlie to wonder about her message, did Duffy know something he didn't?

Darcy sat in the pub across the way at the far end of the pub, away from the hustle and bustle. She'd ordered herself a bottle of wine but had already consumed half of it whilst waiting for Duffy to arrive, if she ever was going to arrive.

"You wanted to talk?" Darcy looked up at the woman in front of her and nodded, "yes."

Duffy sat down next to Darcy and the girl poured the woman a glass of wine.

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**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	7. CHAPTER VII

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**CHAPTER SEVEN**  
_let me tell you i need a miracle_

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Darcy ran her finger around the rim of the glass listening to the noise the people made in the pub. Her stomach was flipping nervously, his words replying in her mind. That he'd kill her if she uttered a word to anyone about his little games.

"You were right about what you said this morning, I was attacked."

Duffy nodded, she wasn't stupid she'd thought just as much. The bruises, the reluctance to talk about it, the cagey behaviour it was all fitting in with been attacked. She took a sip of her wine as she waited for the girl to talk, she knew she could be here all night but she didn't care. Once Darcy admitted out loud what had happened, she could begin to get better. Duffy knew that from experience.

Darcy necked the rest of the glass of wine and went to pour any glass when she realised the bottle was empty. Excusing herself she ordered another two at the bar and five minutes later came back and filled up her glass.

"I know my attacker too which makes it worse," she continued to run her finger along the rim of the class, "and it's not the first time this has happened."

"You've been raped before?" Darcy heard the question and closed her eyes, flashing back to the first time she was raped.

_Edward Dawson was her counsellor, her mother told her she needed to see one after her father died. It was because she wasn't coping the way she should've been, she just locked herself in her room daily reading and re-reading medical journals._

_Darcy had been a patient of Edward's for six months when things started to change. One session he sat next to her and slid his hand up her school skirt. He told her she shouldn't be afraid, he wouldn't hurt her because he loved her._

_The session afterwards he raped her, not once but twice. Then he continued to rape her in every session afterwards._

"When my father died I was thirteen, my mother thought it would be healthy for me to go and see a counsellor, you know have someone who I could talk too. I never wanted to go, I was coping perfectly well but my mother is stubborn. What she wanted, she usually got."

Darcy sipped her wine as she continued, "my counsellor was the one who touched me up, the one who raped me. I reported him, he got sacked, went to prison for five years and now he's back out. That's it really, that's all there is to say."

Duffy touched Darcy's hand, "he believes you were to blame doesn't he?"

She swallowed, "look he wants me to suffer like he did. His only daughter disowned him, his wife was the only one who stuck by him. He's raping me as punishment for talking to the police all those years ago. He isn't going to stop until he breaks me apart."

"You have to go back to the police."

Darcy sighed, "what for? So I can have another five years away from him. After the first court case, my mother moved us away, she moved us to a town just on the coast of Brighton. I had to start again. Coming back to Holby after all these years was a gamble, I knew what I was doing. I knew he'd be out. I brought all this on myself don't you realise that?"

"Darcy," Duffy took a sip of her wine, "you aren't to blame for any of this okay? What he did to you was out of order and he deserved to go to prison. You need to report him, he can't keep getting away with hurting you!"

"That's the last thing I want," she replied, "I don't want another court case."

There was a silence between the two. Duffy knew she wasn't going to be able to convince Darcy to give her attacker up to the police again but she wished she'd listen to her. Darcy deserved so much better, she didn't need to feel guilty over something that happened to her.

"Plus he said if I even breathed a word to anyone he'd slice my throat and bury me on the motorway somewhere."

"You _have_ to go to the police Darcy please!"

"I know what you're saying, I know you're right but please, can you let me do this in my own time? Telling you was hard enough, please don't make me go to the police just yet."

"I won't," she stroked the girls hand before finishing her wine. Again there was just a comfortable silence between the two before Darcy excused herself and went to the bathroom. Checking out her reflection she looked at the wound at the side of her head and the bruise on her cheek.

With a small smile she knew everything would be okay. Returning to the table she said, "thank you for letting me talk to you."

"You're welcome," she caught sight of the time from her watch and apologised, "sorry but I'm going to have to leave."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow at work." Duffy stood up from the table, put on her jacket and began to walk away from the table. Darcy picked up her half-empty glass of wine and with a smile necked it back. Everything was going to be okay, she knew that from the bottom of her heart.

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**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	8. EPILOGUE

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CHAPTER EIGHT  
(epilogue, _ecuador_)

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An ambulance came speeding into Holby General, stopped at the entrance and the doors flung open. The paramedics off loaded a trolley, a young girl in the middle of it and headed into the emergency department.

The girl lying on the stretcher wasn't in a good way. Her brown hair was mattered with blood, her throat slit. Everything from her clothes to her shoes were covered in blood as were the paramedics hands as they raced her into resus.

"This is Darcy Lawrence, nineteen years of age, stab wound to the throat."

It both shocked and saddened the team to have to treat one of their own, especially one as young as Darcy who had only just started out on her adventure as a nurse. They tried their hardest to work under the circumstances, trying to replace the blood Darcy had lost, trying to make sure she gained consciousness.

Her heart flat lined and they began to do CPR. They gave her adrenaline, shocked her at 200, 300 volts but there was nothing. No heart rhythm appearing on the screen she was hooked up too. They tried once again with another round of CPR, adrenaline and shocked her.

Still nothing.

Nothing but a terrible beep from the machine.

They all knew in their hearts Darcy wasn't coming back. They all knew she was dead, they'd been surrounded by too much death for today's liking. They all looked at each other coming to the silent agreement that they should stop the treatment, they couldn't bring her back.

Her death was then called, "time of death 04:00."

On Tuesday 15th at 04:00am Darcy became an angel.

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